These were the type of phone calls the youngest McQueen had been getting ever since the 'event' took place. Worried older siblings blowing up his line, all asking the very same questions in the very same order. It was all truly annoying, but, at the same time, it was all so very enduring and Chancelor couldn't wait to see them. He managed to survive with only bruising, and a few cuts—most of them being upon the face, courtesy of the Physic Pokémon tossing Chance around like some goddamn rag doll. The 'event' took a tool on the boy and the people of Johto. This was seen as a terrorist attack and not even a single soul had the answers needed to make sense of the nightmarish night they all had to endure. Team Virus had an agenda, but why did the tower had to go? Why did so many have to die in the process? Just thinking about it caused the usual charming boy to have an emotionless visage—eyes, soul, and body heavy with sympathetic regret. He sighed, entering the train station in a rather causal getup: a black leather jacket with jeans and sneakers, hair styled in usual fashion with a backpack slung over a single shoulder.

Among the sheep, cattle that came in and went out of the train station. He followed the tug and pull of the moving bodies, attention half on what is in front of him while the other half was on the PokéDevice in hand. Still more text from family members—older sisters that were a little too protective over their championship winning and strong willed baby brother. Chance attempted to answer their digital messages to the best of his ability given he only had one hand free. That was until a familiar voice pierced the mundane chatter of the people surrounding him. The teenager looked up with a cocked brow, eyes panning from side to side until he could pin a face he recognized. On the verge of giving up and returning back to sending the onslaught of messages being received. Hazel orbs locked on a familiar face, a mind racing; playing through certain events that made the boy 'hate' many people... This one included.

Palm might have been happy to see him, but he wasn't happy to see her and it showed upon his face—a visage hard as stone, lacking all emotion. When she approaches, Chance pockets his device and stands tall. "What do you want?" His words are like a shotgun at point blank range—full of destruction that would have picked anyone off their feet if subject to such hostile force. He was happy to see the female was alright and safe—he may have been feeling a certain kind of way, but he wanted no misfortune to befall her. Despite that extremely deep feeling, face to face with Palm, all he could see was her before him on that stage with that madman... Palm ready to use her Pokémon for his own twisted enjoyment despite seeing what happened to not only the Ghastly but the poor vulpix. To recklessly put the creatures you swore to learn about and protect on the line... Unbeknownst to Chance, a hand formed into a tight fist; the very same disappointment from before returning like an all-consuming wave threatening to swallow him whole.

Why did this hurt so much?

✝ tag(s) - noelani palm .
✝ notes - this gon' be aaaaakward-turtle .

She just smiled in his face despite the festering and bubbling feeling of betrayal coursing through hot veins. It appeared the Professor didn't even notice the animosity spilling from the pores of the Trainer before her. Was she really that dense to blatantly smile in the face of the agitated lion? Chancelor had full intentions on just walking on by past the Professor—he had nothing nice to say, so why waste time in a conversation he had little to no desire to have? His body would lean forward slightly, the left leg on the verge of being picked up off the floor tile to begin the action of walking past the Professor and heading towards the magnet trains interior. However, her kind question made the agitated Trainer ceased any and all movements. She wanted to make sure everyone got out safely? Did his Pokémon assist in the evacuation? Are they okay? Those words were like fleeting whispers in the ear of Chancelor when all he could see was that one moment on stage. The disappointment within was so much he could see nothing but said disappointment. His hard eyes never left the visage of Palm, he remained stoic, hard, and uninterested in the conversation even though on the inside he was a complex mess of emotions and thoughts.

Something light landed on the shoulder of the Trainer and it was the disinterested Meowth belonging to Palm. This sudden event made the teenager look directly at the purple feline with a cocked brow. What was the meaning of this? Chancelor would have never taking this cat for the type to actually like anyone but the Professor herself, so why perch itself on the shoulder of Chancelor? That was when the feeling finally sunk in—a fist so tight the entire arm twitched from all the pressure. Slowly, the other hand of the teenager would wrap around the wrist of the shaking arm. Exhaling a little breathe, he'd bring both hands up over his face and run them down while exhaling a deep sigh; an attempt to quell the negative feelings clouding his judgement. The Meowth undoubtedly sensed the animosity towards his Professor—which would explain the reason why he decided to perch himself on the shoulder of Chancelor. "I would never hit her. It don't matter how mad I get, I'd never put my hands on her." Chancelor reassured himself, a single eye on the Meowth, hard features softening just a little to show regret for making the little guy worry.

"I'm fine." Chancelor speaks bluntly, eyes now avoiding looking at Palm entirely. "I don't know why you feel like you need to check up on me. I've been good. I am good. And I'm going to stay good." Both hands are stuffed in leather jacket pockets, eyes picking back up and landing on the Professor after some inner resistance. "Don't worry about mine. I'd never let any kind of real harm come to them, you understand me?" His voice rose a few octaves, tongue coated in a mix of anger and animosity. That was when he clinched his jaw shut, a jaw line jutting from ebony skin showing just how hard he was clinching his teeth shut. Chancelor looks away from Palm yet again, "tch, fuck..." He whispers, but words were still loud enough for the female to decipher. "Look. I gotta' go." Words came out in an rather exhausted way. He attempts to take a step past the Professor and head for the magnet train.

✝ tag(s) - noelani palm .
✝ notes - this gon' be aaaaakward-turtle .

"Just keep it pushin'. You have nothing to say to her."

That innermost voice of the martial artist told himself—those handful of words on repeat; like a broken record skipping only to repeat itself time and time again. Reluctant steps carried the boy forward, an innermost turmoil doing a number on him mentally. Chancelor wasn't 'mentally' prepared for this despite the way he carries himself and views the world. He needed further guidance, a voice with the capability of steering him back on the right direction. To the boy, Palm betrayed his perception of her and her ideals—she was once someone Chance could respect and look up to, but no longer; she betrayed him like everyone else did that night. Despite how hard he tried to rationalize it within himself, a part of the boy constantly told him this was wrong, Palm and everyone else involved was a victim just like himself. So why was he being so hard on the Professor? That was an answer he couldn't find on his own and that is the cause of such reluctant steps—if this would be the last time he ever spoke to the female again, would he be okay with how things are right now? Parting ways with a great-divide between them? The voice kept on telling him to move forward, the only thing he heard; the one voice that never steered him off his 'path'. He didn't get very far, for when Palm spoke—the crushing weight of his unwarranted animosity pressing down upon her. Chance stopped, eyes dead ahead, the repeating words in his head fading away like a soft breeze.

The youngest McQueen couldn't even face the female, he had his back to her during the entire time she spoke. He listened to her words, hard facial features softening as the tone in her voice reflected the crushing realization. Hearing it made him loath the fact he was acting like this—loath the fact he put this female on such a high pedestal, and when said pedestal came crushing down, he wasn't able to catch her. This wasn't fair, this wasn't right, and this wasn't how he was taught to act. Holding people to the same unreachable standards he holds himself to? That's just asking to be let down time and time again. He began to turn around as she continued to speak slowly, once hard eyes now overflowing with uncertainty. Hazel eyes glance down at her hand that is clutching a PokéBall with dainty fingers. Those say eyes radiating with emotion picked up and were placed upon the visage of Palm, Chance was hoping she wasn't going to do what he assumed she was going to do.

She was giving him a Riolu. How could she?

"I," tongue tied for the fist time in his life. "Can't accept this..." Those words reflected how he was feeling right now, confused, uncertain, and extremely sorry. "I 'hate' you, Palm. What happened at Madatsubomi. Putting your Pokémon on the line like that. It broke my heart. How could y-," words were immediately stopped—Chance realized he was doing it again, putting blame on a person he shouldn't have even done in the first place. "You don't do that. You protect your friends and family. Pokémon should be your friends and family. If it came down to it I'd die a thousand times over if it meant protecting those I care about." He looks her deeply in the eyes, coming clean about everything. "You and yours included. That's why I made the offer that I did. To protect you." He was referring to how he offered his self up as tribute to face off against the Mewoth. A very reckless offer, but an offer he believed to be the best course of action; well, that was before the tower collapsed and chaos ensued. "I just believed you of all people understood that about me. I guess I was wrong," he puts his hand on top of hers, the one extending the PokéBall containing the Riolu. He then gently pushes her hand down, subtly rejecting the Pokémon. "I'm sorry." He apologizes for making her out to be this perfect person—no one is perfect, not even the youngest McQueen.

✝ tag(s) - noelani palm .
✝ notes - this gon' be aaaaakward-turtle .

"I wish I understood why we're standing here, in the middle of this train station, having this conversation. You come to check on me of all people? I dunno' If I should feel flattered or annoyed." He was attempting to cut through the tension in his own special way—a dull blade merely bouncing off the awkwardness shrouding both parties. The more he spoke to the female, the worse he felt—realizing a flawed way of thinking is what grew animosity wildly like weeds to an unkempt field of grass. He knew his words hit her heavy, like a fist from a Machamp after a few Bulk-Ups. Chancelor didn't mean for it to come out so harshly, but hearing himself say the words made him feel better—a heavy weight being lifted from the rugged shoulders of the martial artist. "I don't understand," he beings to respond to her words, handpicking the word he uses lest he put anymore pain in the innocent little thing standing before him.

"I don't think I will ever understand. To be a sacrificial lamb, there is no honor or justice in the act. You'd go down in the books as another statistic that leaped before thinking about how to land." Palm of all people shouldn't have put that weight on her shoulders—she was the future of Pokémon and would undoubtedly play a very large part in furthering the research when it came down to the monsters and how they operate. "If you would have died that night despite all my efforts to keep you and yours from getting hurt. You have even the slightest clue on the effect that would have had on me? To fail you of all people." He shakes his head, "No. It's not that I don't understand. It's that I don't wish to understand."

It was safe to say Chance had a particular fondness over Palm, since the moment they had met, the female was held in the highest regard—In the eyes of the Youngest McQueen, she could do no wrong, no evil, or make bad calls. He labeled her a champion in her own right, and that is simply he'd never take from her. It was his own naivety and overzealous ways that put him in this current predicament. He needed to make it right; if not for his own, for the sake of Noelani.

It only made sense that the ever growing rift between them would be felt by Palm. Chancelor wish he didn't have to speak upon it, but he knew it'd be the right thing to do and could possibly be the closure he sought. "Because i'm a dickhead? I ignored the fact you're made of the exact same stuff I'm made of. You're no better than me and that's a bitter pill to swallow, Palm? I saw you in a light I had no reason seeing you in... So when the lights went off I felt alone and betrayed." He averts his gaze, a since of shame overcoming the boy as he confessed with an open heart. "I don't hate you. I hated the fact I had my head in the clouds and was cruising on Cloud 9. I hated the fact when reality hit it hit hard. I hated the fact things went down the way they did and a whole lot of innocent people were injured and worse." An exhausted sigh is ejected from the parted lips of the trainer. "This 'divide' is a way to protect my paper thin feelings. I tried and tried to rationalize the way I feel, but I'm wrong. You don't deserve any of this shit, Noelani. I'm such a dickhead... That is why I can't take the Riolu."

✝ tag(s) - noelani palm .
✝ notes - this gon' be aaaaakward-turtle .

He was extremely hard on himself, almost a complete 180° twist in personality. What was once hostile and unpredictable now stood before Palm weak and confused. Chance loathed nothing more in the world than we had to question himself and seriously ask himself 'am I doing the right thing?'. He hates this because it goes against his credo, personality, and takes him way out of his comfort zone. Typically times when this question is asked, it is about situation and circumstances with outcomes that really didn't matter to the youth long term. However, this circumstance—this moment he was sharing with Noelani; was he doing the right thing? He was doing everything but the right thing, and that is what was consuming the teenager from the inside out—like a flesh eating virus with no vaccine. Chancelor knew he had to make this up to not only himself, but the female before him—she deserved the world yet all he was giving her was misguided fury.

Swallowing a lump of bitter anguish stuck in his throat, he accepted the gentle hug from the women in front of him—a much needed gesture in this most trying of times. Her words brought comfort even though he felt like he failed himself, her, and his father. "I care a lot more than I let on. I've always been horrible at expressing my feelings If I ain't doing so with my fists." He explains while large arms are equally wrapped around the slender body of the professor. Her next bundle of words brought upon silence from the teenager. She was right, he did try to sacrifice himself even if it wasn't for the greater good. During the tower event, all Chance cared about was making sure his Pokémon were safe and stayed out of the diabolical clutches of Team Virus. However, in that same spectrum, he was still, at the very least, trying to protect everyone else while offering himself up as tribute for the entertainment of that madman. Before he could speak upon his own sacrifice, she apologized for the events at the tower—like she was the reason on all the happenings.

Chancelor holds Palm tighter, letting his gestures and energies say the words he initially couldn't say to the female. "Don't you do this. Don't you carry this weight, Noelani. This is not your weight to carry, you hear me? You did everything you could in that shitty situation. I did too. We all did." His words stop for the briefest of moments, eyes dead ahead, staring into absolute oblivion. "Fucked up things happen to some of the best people. That's just how the world works. It ain't right, but it is what it is. I won't let anything happen to you or your Pokémon, I put my life on that one. I may not be able to protect the world, but I sure as hell can protect those that mean the world to me." Another pause from the boy, straight nothingness filling his view. "Don't carry that weight. Please don't carry that weight."

✝ tag(s) - noelani palm .
✝ notes - this gon' be aaaaakward-turtle .

This felt right—like watching an highly anticipated movie with a satisfactory conclusion. The embrace felt like one that lasted forever, but it was an embrace he secretly would have enjoyed to have went on a little longer, though he'd never admit to such a feeling. So, when the professor pulled herself away, he allowed it—uncoiling his large arms and slowly dropping them down to their respective sides. Facial features went even softer upon seeing the collected pools in the female eyes. Chance was a younger brother with five older sisters; strong and independent women who have had a large impact in the upbringing of the youngest McQueen. Having such a close relationship with them, he always hated seeing them sad, especially when they cried. Noelani found herself in that spectrum with the siblings of Chance—seeing those tears cascade down the cheek and pool in the eyes broke the usual cocky and lionhearted martial arts champion. He reaches forward and sets a hand on her shoulder, gripping the bone with a firm yet caring palm.

"I'll always be there for ya', Palm. You can count on me no matter what. As long as i'm in your corner you'll always be in the winners circle." He grins, not a cocky: 'I got an ego problem, baby. Tell me I'm the man.' type of a grin, but something more soft, more caring, wholesome, and sincere. Hazel orbs drift over to the Meowth who takes his usual position back upon the perch of his trainer. The caring engage between the two made Chancelor chuckle a little, his hand being removed from the shoulder of the female before him. "How about if I die nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine times instead? Save that final death for after I forge my legacy." The grin grows bigger, arms now folded up against a covered chest. "I'll take care of myself. I promise." The teenager adds to finish up his words, eyes fixed upon the professor per usual.

✝ tag(s) - noelani palm .
✝ notes - this gon' be aaaaakward-turtle .

It felt good to have finally been able to properly expression himself. As a young adult—as a young and rather aggressive male, the biggest weakness he had resided in the fact he couldn't portray his innermost emotions properly or in a timely manner. He has been told this time and time by those he loves the most, but odd habits die hard—like a cockroach crushed under a heavy boot; twitching; still clinging for dear life. When you're the toughest fella' in the room, you aren't tough because you express sadness, worry, or even doubt. You're the toughest because you face ever challenge with an iron will and hold yourself accountable for all the actions and decisions you make—regardless on how stupid or how reckless. You take life by the horns and steer that bitch in the direction you wish to go; you can't do that feeling certain emotions that distract you from the big picture, or, at least, that is what the youngest McQueen believes. Masculinity is said to be the hardest thing about a man, yet machismo is oh-so very fragile and easily exploited. Deep down, Chance was beginning to understand the reason why his father insisted he take this journey. When Chance reflects on this moment he is having with Noelani, he'd see the ugly truth and will hate himself for it.

He can't help but continue to smile when she thanks him—half over the fact she was extremely special to him with the other cause of the smiling being the fact she took his little jest at face value. His eyes watch the caring Pokémon handle the rest of the cascading tears with hasty effort. The bond the two had could be felt and absorbed, it was a good bond; a healthy friendship and partnership any Pokémon enthusiast could appreciate and want for themselves. Chance had a level of respect and friendship for his Pokémon many people have never been subject too, but it was nothing compared to the connection Noelani had with her Mewoth—the sight itself was simply awe inspiring. When the feline finished, Chance's eyes dropped down to the shrunken ball in the hand of the female, both parties examining it with different thoughts about it. Exhaling a sigh, the teenager reaches forward and places a hand on top of the ball, cupping both the professor and the ball in a large and scarred hand.

"Listen... If I take this I don't think I'd be able to raise it as my own in good consciousness. Not after the way I felt, y'know? You saw me at my absolute worse before you even saw me at my absolute best, that ain't right..." A once friendly gaze goes soft, an apologetic tone as he continues to speak. "It says a lot about me and how I still have a lot of growing up to do. I'll take the Riolu back to my dojo, how does that sound? We have plenty of students and more capable masters who will gladly accept it and forge it into something phenomenal. Like you, this Riolu deserves the best; somethin' I obvious can't give." He was being extremely hard on himself despite trying to suppress the feeling. If this unhealthy suppression continued, Chancelor McQueen would be right back whence he started.

✝ tag(s) - noelani palm .
✝ notes - this gon' be aaaaakward-turtle .